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2008-08-31

Wilhelm Reich
B. 3.24.1897 Dobryzcynica, Austria / D. 11.3.1957 Lewisburg Federal Penitentiary
Heart Attack

How can I say this?
I wanted to have sex with her again.
How could I get this?
I wondered.
How could I want this?
I wanted it easily, I suspected I wanted it ceaselessly – if my psychosomatic fatigue did not deceive me, that is.
How did I mean this?
I may have wanted it more than I knew.
How could I tell this?
I wrote down a long list of clues: I’m upset, I’m angry, I’m entertaining fantasies of angry scenes; I’m tired, I’m sleeping eight hours but have circles under my eyes like from three; I’m waking up on Tuesday from a dream where I’ve got this big sack full of human meat in baggies –
How did I read that?
I wanted her body.
And how about now?
I needed meat – or better yet, steamed clams.
How do I know this?
I went for a checkup and last week my doctor shared the results: I’ve got a Vitamin B12 deficiency. It causes fatigue. I’m getting shots now.
How come I have that?
I was a meal-skipping middle aged woman with a small carbon footprint who didn’t take vitamins. I mistook the symptoms of deficiency for signs of an amorous nature and let them run wild. I put too much faith in an orgasm.

Consolation Site: D.I.Y.


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