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Amanda Blake (b. Beverly Louise Neill)
B. 2.20.29 Buffalo / D. 8.16.89 Sacramento
AIDS / Throat Cancer

Again now with the gambling fantasies—the ones where I sit down at a casino blackjack table and clear eight thousand dollars in an afternoon. I don’t know why but it’s always eight thousand dollars and blackjack, which I last played (badly) as a child.
Last night I get to totaling my winnings in the office where they take the taxes out, This is always the climax.
and I ask the lady, Can you pay my back taxes from that terminal? And she’s like, A nice lady tonight.
That’s what we’re here for! So then I’m thinking, Can you make a couple of payments on my credit cards too? This was a disturbing first.
But my resolve starts to waver immediately; (No fair changing the rules!)
before it swerves too far I find myself exclaiming, Stop me! Make me pay my debts! Or better yet—pierce my flesh with rawhide-strung wooden skewers and leave me to dangle over a bowl of smoldering sage.

Consolation Site: Q: When is it hard to get work?

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