I havenít tanned yet at all this summerómostly because last year, by summerís end, I looked at my skin and thought it looked like a purse. Wisdom, itís all about making connections. Iíve noticed, for instance, that very little gets doneóby me or anyoneówhenever Catherine Zeta-Jones is out and about in promotion of a film. Like a sea snakeís bite, her face is paralyzingóno earthly creature, built for ordinary frictions, can withstand the icy coursing through the limbs of it. Clicking through the TV channels, there she is, again, againóMedusa, her very tresses sting. What a dangerous season when she sallies forth to discourse upon her profession and the happiness of marriage to that lipless mirror of manhood. Tonight Iím petitioning the rulers of the airwaves; I demand to know: When will it be safe to go into the culture again?