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2001-04-07
A source in the music industry informs me that Janet Jackson, an object of desire to myself and a source of satisfaction to all of my several daydream selves, is the mother of a twelve year old child, whom she never mentions to the press. A month ago, on the child's birthday, rich Uncle No-Nose showed up in a limo pulling a horse-trailer. The child is now raising a pet llama named sorethroat, after the whole family's favorite internet personality.