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2001-02-07

Those who are lucky enough to share my genius for accessorizing will understand my strange relationship with �hip-hop fashion,� which I invented. It�s true. Although I rejected it because I am too short, too solitary, and too cheap, the Adidas warm-up suit as formal and/or nightclub wear was my idea. And as Emerson writes in Self-Reliance, when you don�t act upon your inspirations, you�re bound to find them coming at you someday from another source in forms of �alienated majesty� which are all to someone else�s profit.

And riddled, as Emerson neglects to mention, with someone else�s annoying errors�for they forgot the bag! A small plastic CVS bag (the old shiny kind with the clean-cut handle) carried as a clutch purse is absolutely key to �hip-hop fashion� and yet, so far as I know, it fell out of use as such forever when I was persuaded by an expression on my mother�s face to stop doing that.

I was lazy and timid and failed to create a permanent demand within the "hip-hop fashion" market for what may have been my finest fashion inspiration. And now CVS makes its bags out of perforated, dull-surfaced stuff which rattles too much to wear to the theater.

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