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HOME 2004-07-25
Kamo-no Chomei B. Kyoto 1155 / D. Outside Kyoto 1216 Absence of Grief I would hope to resume my contributions to the culture soon. For now, I am too busy solacing myself to give, too busy taking the weekend mornings for myself. I read, but not to satiety: too busy snacking to fill myself with words I leave the books piled up or open on my bed. Cold sausages overripe apricots leftover pasta plums I will return I will return I will return to giving: I haven�t lost the touch, just time. There I sat, prolonging Saturday to give myself an excuse for missing church: I was too tired, my night too late; I stayed up too late watching Night of the Iguana (which had a Christian message anyway somewhat Christian); I was afraid of dying in my sleep and so I started writing: I will return I will return I will return to rigor, self-denial, and bracing face-slaps in the mirror. My languishing is not conclusion. When I can need less I�ll return some portion, giving back. Most languishing when nearest solace such as baseball buttered blueberry bread Ava Gardner in the surf my cat Fanny, I offer smothered greetings from my weekend hideaway where solace has its arms around my neck. Wish you were here. Consolation Site: Hojoki
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