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2001-04-11
What am I listening to? Bobbie Gentry, Ode to Billie Joe.
Napster? Yes. But I owned the single as a child, so it’s okay.
What am I cooking? Meatloaf and new potatoes.
What did I do just a few minutes ago? Took out all the entries I put in my profile the other night and left it empty again.
What did I list as three of my favorite bands? The Liver Kings, Too Short for That Gesture, Bitter Teat.
What is my problem? I hardly ever recognize any of the bands on those lists, except from other lists. I am old.
How old? Jodie Foster’s age.
Do I believe that Jodie Foster lies about her age? Yes.
What did I list as my favorite movies? I so hate this question. I always forget "Nashville."
Does "liking" Sarah Polley make me a pedophile? No.
Even though she's only about four feet tall? Yes. I mean no. I mean yes.
Whom did I list my favorite authors? At first, all I put was Shakespeare; it struck me as funny. Then I clicked on the link and discovered the enormous list of people who’d also put Shakespeare. I thought, OH THAT'S what these profiles are for! I just use them to help me avoid “Virgin Suicides” fans.
Have I read or seen “The Virgin Suicides”? No.
But I think I have a right to judge its admirers? Well I mean if it makes you feel any better I don’t think it’s nearly as bad as admiring “The Vagina Monologues.”
Have I read or seen “The Vagina Monologues” either? No, I’m waiting to see it on my first visit to Disneyworld.
Why is Charles Dickens my favorite writer? Because of one night in 1989, when I dived under my blankets and read several pages of "Our Mutual Friend" by flashlight because I was staying at Lake Attitlan in Guatemala, and a long parade of marching military boots had just gone past my frail hotel room door—because eventually I even slept well.
How was the meatloaf? Delicious—as always!
What am I most likely to do when it occurs to me that I am an inspired genuis? Dance around the kitchen.
Is it possible that I could ever grow tired of listening to Evelyn "Champagne" King's disco classic "Shame"? No. Never.